A smile on a stranger’s face

I hold fast to the love I shared

Not just the recent tears

I have kept hidden behind my eyes

That are closer than ever before.

The morning sun rises

Thoughts are busy

Until the setting sun disappears on the horizon.

The anesthetic breeze stiring round the head

Lying with the lost sense on the operation table.

While you are in deep slumber

I have gently kissed your fore head

The stars that shine brightly in the sky

Help me watch over you

To keep you away from all harms.

I am the wind in the trees ,

the song of the birds,

The moonbeam in the midnight sky,

The glorious rainbow after the storm,

The morning dew of a freshly fallen snow.

I am a smile on a stranger’s face

A gentle touch of a warm embrace.

I let you come in

Because the knock had come

My memory goes in the blind night glass

Where you get up to the irrational logic of the flesh.

The moment of change witnesses the irony of promise

Sleepless with every light in the house

The speech encloses me comes from the mud-world.

The half-grown imagination has a message of a long sigh

Each of your rainy words were old and sick

Cannot remember the last thing you wanted.

But,

It is too late to give up these words.

I am compelled to deliver you

All the unkind words faithfully

The naked message on your face is alive

Leaving nothing out.

Copyright@ Dr Sudhansu dash

Name Plate

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

I tell my story in the curve of desires

My life hanging on the wall

Threatens to fall at any moment

Living with all expired futures

yet

Speaking me to be a somebody

In the twisted lies of letters

I am designing myself to hide my lies behind me

In all my life I think of life

Thinking  of life I confirm a death.

Whole my signature is on water of the river

That dries up half way

The map of the face comes in the mid night hour

The return after my coming

Consoled me that I came

But drew a question of my return once more.

At night

When all voices die

I am unable to force the answer from myself.

I did know that words betray

As the lips are parted before they are awakened

Moving with the crowd

Dr Sudhansu Dash

I am walking with the crowd with my mind

It is always with me

Many moving with me

On the Solid and concrete highway

I think

The crowd is going somewhere

It gives me a feeling of security with the calculated map

In fact

It is moving but not moving anywhere

No crowd has ever reached any goal

Excepting a secured falsity

I am disillusioned of it.

It goes on moving and moving before I was born

It will move after my death

The moment I start falling towards the heart

I fall to the abyss of my being

Go astray

With my heart I am alone

All that is dangerous comes out of it

Fear grasps me, possesses me

Asking

‘Where are you going

Carrying the most dangerous thing in the world?’

Nobody is with me

But me and my total loneliness.

 I am at the centre of my being

Unmapped , unmeasured and fearless

From every dimension

The center without any circumference.

If You have Tears

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

My heart is not too big to cry for the other

To hear anybody’s cause

To awake my senses to your plight

How unwanted a man I am  moving on the soil?

  This question is enrolled in the pages of my death

To receive the benefits of my dying.

I speak not to disprove what I speak

But I am to speak it

Because I know it.

My heart is in the coffin

 I will not wait till it comes back to me.

Tomorrow the words of me might stand against the world

If you have tears

Prepare to shade them now

Lest they would unkindly knock your door tomorrow.

The Untrusted Painter

Dr Sudhansu Dash

All thoughtless  images of his thoughts

Painted the midnight in the sacred wood

The withered vain bleed in the lips

To write the story of the hunted bird.

The body goes from nakedness to another nakedness

What is that running through that animal blood

To murder a stranger?

None shares the guilt

On the painted stage to eat up the heart

Leaves nothing

But

The nothings that belong to all the unsaid words.

The painter names nothing

To guard the thoughts man thinks in the mind alone.

The body of the night on the canvas

Bleeds the irrational blood

For the figure to begin the play.

Here at life’s end makes the truth known.

A journey into Me

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

I don’t know where I am

 Beautiful in my own nature

No river flows of any water

I am an opening to my self

Answering no question I stand alone

I live here and now

Living, dancing and celebrating each moment

Allows the total mystery into me

Only I receive the answer  asking no question

End and beginning ends in one point

I have just become my own

I do not become a thing to know me

But to miss the self in myself

I go to the center to become what

Suddenly all questions dissolve.

Misunderstand not

It is not a solution to a problem

No problem, no solution.

I am  not swimming in the river

No struggle

I have become the river

The river becomes me

Your ego gets offended

But

You cannot deceive me the sky

 Bothered by infinite questions

Cunning words of philosophy

I know you because I have known you

It is neither my thought nor my action

It is simply my being

Do not ask Me

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

Do not ask me

How do I miss my way in my shadow?

No joy or suffering touches me today

They are meaningless

The swampy inside full of colorlessness

Since long I have burnt all the words and passions of my own

The burning candle in the mid sun

Melting fast in sun and flame with its color and smell

Till crumbles to the earth

Holding something inside

She does not know.

She has forgotten many things in those days

Yet history burns under her feet

With the coldest fire of spring

There hides the event that has never happened

The   Uncentered Circle

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

The passion to open the buried secrets

Locked in the opposite side of the creation

In the silent space of the cosmos

Where all is for ever known

Indifferent to any belief.

It dares to live after the last possible breath

Released from its void frame

To take its greatness with its softest violence.

The unpassing sighs of the pale dew

In the lonely hour of the unrest deep twilight

To puck the moments from the undone time.

When the heart dying to burn the stars with a drop of water

The scars of the wounded dreams start healing up.

All the deads wake up to die again.

You could murmur some tender words

Forgiving me because you are dead.

I will sing the same old song

Yet it is not the same old song.

Nothing is new under the sun

To step into the same river twice

To see the same sun again

The same sky again.

A Dialogue between Two Intimate Strangers

Dr Sudhansu Dash

Never have we ever met

Ever we have never met

Nothing more than managing to know

That we are not together

 I invite you to come to me

Into the inside of this man

Ever written dangerous in all your scriptures

Before life dreamt of revealing itself.

I am mad

Because I trust no reason

Somebody living My Life

Dr.Sudhansu dash

He listens so much of me

I dare not unlock the door

He scratches most awfully sometimes

The black and white tempests on his arms.

A sharp blindness coming to my eyes

Not to see the intensified smile

in the face of the hollow night.

The tide of nothingness

Rising higher and higher with a cold passion.

His heart was closed to any idea of himself

Forgot to be afraid of all his voidness

He was glad to pass into the shaded moon.

Wanted another night

To enjoy the emptiness crying out within.

When he did something

He did not wish to be seen doing.

What secrecy is it

That is known to everybody else?

At last came back to me

Appearing as a somebody

Who lives my life

I do not know.

The Shivering Art on the Canvas

Dr Sudhansu Dash

My hand trembles with a cold touch.
 Running out of colors,

 I consolidate them

And break along with it.

Under the veil of all eyes

With the virgin promises of hypocrisy

Who has created such a ‘me’?

Standing alone

With all the untrusted  becomings and unbecoming.

I must confess.

I offer every surface of my thoughts and tears

In their own design

To make my maker undone for a moment

To bridge the space inside a hollow man.

Painting A Dark Night

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

She transcends all the understandings

All conspiracy to touch and perceived intelligence

Memory fails to bring me back

Space forgets its position of what it waits under its thoughts

The cross returns of darkness with another darkness

In the eyes of the mirror.

The bed becomes the centre of an unknown knowledge

The fusion of the divine with the human

Reality woven under the impressions

To weigh the morning

Vibrating in the eyes

Nearing the time beyond everything

Unfamiliar to any distance

Between two antique calmness.

Choosing rather to be alone

Than surrounded by people who pretend to care

Her unmanageable passion to be silent

Merges in her shivering art.

The Lighthouse

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

The stories in my head

Fighting against the currents,

Teach me how to breath underwater,
I promise not to wake up the dead.
Half-dead and alone,
But the miracle is that I'm still standing,
And my solid heart stays true and strong despite its aching.
My little hopes telling me to keep going.
To take nails and hammers to my frame,
And fix up these old bones in  my mind,
I know how to  breathe through the pain,
And when we sit together next,
I'll tell you about the stories in my head,

I find myself lost within your depths
My tongue laced with salty remains of each kiss

Waving their silent welcomes and farewells
 tonight I'll write a thousand words 
to shout what my mouth is too afraid to whisper.
Your heart makes me melt faster than ice on a blazing summer day. 
I could get lost forever and never ever want to return. 
You’re you and no one is better.That’s truer than true.

Only time will tell of what may come.

The Socrates Speaks

Dr Sudhansu Dash

I am charged with the allegation

I am diverting the future Nations

 Making money selling the religion

I am to withdraw my words

I am but to take poison

But my Lord!

I am helpless

Do you see my skeletoned body

Hiding itself under my torn clothes?

 Never have I misguided the youth

  Never have I dared to guide them even

 pursued them never

They have come to me.

I am searching the truth along with them

With a sincere yearning

If any of them finds the truth earlier to me

I may kindly be communicated with a merciful heart.

My Lord!

I am helpless

This is my crime.

 Inevitable It is  with all absoluteness

I am born to be  misunderstood.

It is a must

 Perhaps

If  not misunderstood,

A Socrates is not a Socrates at all.

It cannot be otherwise.

I am beyond mind and you  in

I dare to translate from the ‘beyond’ to the ‘in’  

This world cannot tolerate such impossibility.

No Socrates could avoid it.

He has to say the unsayable,

To express the in expressible,

 To define the indefinable.

I am but to do this absurd act

Because the moment I reach the beyond,

Great compassion arises in me

I can see people stumbling in the dark,

Suffering in their own created night mare.

How can I avoid, not feeling compassionate?

You think about life

Just like a blind man thinking about light.

Your blind eyes may go on thinking about light

As much possible as it is                                                                    

But

Never be able to come to a true conclusion.

As much logical it may be

But still missing the experience.

Your logic can not stand for it.

What you need are eyes

Attended going beyond the mind.

  You are not your thoughts,

 You are not your body,

The energy reflects

When you know yourself to be  a ‘knowing’

The Socrates only communes to you

‘Eyes are possible’

 You are not blind

 Only keeping the eyes closed.

 You are not born blind but  taught to remain blind

Blind people your society needs

 Blind people are good slaves

  Always dependant

 Very convenient people.

 Never can rebel, never create any troubles.

The obedient, ready to submit to nonsense of any kind

I am misunderstood

More than misunderstanding

Nothing more can your mind  do                                                  

Inevitable it is also.

The rising compassion in me

 Starts communicating the impossible.

When I talk of in the words of light,

Their meaning is changes moment it reaches you.

Your mind colors them in its own color with its tricky words

If it is so

I am born to be misunderstood

I am glad to take poison than withdrawing my words

My lord!

Painting the Sky

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

The colors conspire among themselves

In their self arranged passion

The secrets of the opposites merge in a close embrace

In the endless portrait of the white carpet

Whispering the mystery of the eternity.

Gently blows the wind

And where it leads

No one knows.

The graceful shapes of the white clouds

Looking back all the escaping moments.

The stars shinning and bright

Through lights in the darkest night

All the tricks of the mortal hours

Struggling all the way irregularly.

The traveler of destiny moves in a different adventure

To heal the wounds of the ongoing time

To feed the dreams that would never end

The cracks rolling between the understandings of the mad men

Complimenting each other

Releasing love out into the horizon

Making it uneasy to pick up the rusted locks

To hold each other ever close.

An Appeal of the innocent

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

I extend all my gathered appealing looks towards you

All that I have from my inception in the womb

I am but to live on your choice

Do not you feel my pulse for a moment?

You have spread all your sweet conspiracy around me

Your soft palms are full of thrones

That makes me bleed without a complain

Because I know not your cunning words

You have laid before me all my unbecomings

In a calculated manner

With your careful guidance

To justify your majestic presence

Because you are my father

My words do not reach your incapable ears

That dissolves in the silent space

Just once look at me!

Let me grow just like me

And try to understand

Why I want to grow just like me?

I can carry the burdens of your intelligency

But

But can you carry the burdens of my  innocency?

Help me grow just like me

 And try to understand

Why I want to grow just like me?

Kill me not, save me but

My loving guide.

The Facts Speaking for Themselves

Dr Sudhansu Dash

I stand on the background

Through ups and downs

Through winning and losing.

I had died a death in the waking hell

When you started to remember me.

My arms were waiting

Would have done through the torment

That you let slip away till the end day.

You were watching the dark shapes

In an excuse to disappear for ever.

Time moves on, wounds heal to the naked eyes

But the bearer terribly affected by life’s cruel blows.

Can a raw soul see it close to the skin

Rendering me with defenseless commitments?

Give me back all my trusts available in my tears 

Because I am Happy

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

Because I look happy

With all my gray smiles of an old eye

Smiling under the winter snow.

They think

They have done me no injury.

The sun shine may not cheer it

I cannot help itself in its decay in an altered form

To be a favorite worse truth.

This is neither a choice nor a courage.

The sharp nail scratches the map of my flesh

Leaving the scars needed to be read

The earth drinks the heart that I hide

The shame beneath the veil

The cross road where fate determines the path

You do not understand

All the reasons are lost for a life to live

The day you said me a good bye.

Well it is dead that I am

But keep up a pretence

Because all that I find

Are those who feel now

I have so much to give

I mostly reveal myself

Many times softened by gentleness as now

To cast a shadow over a cheerful newness.

A Message from the Heart

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

The irresistible softness of my bones

Coated with fleshy emotions

My veins flow the blood of love

That I am made of.

I am blind to my reasons

Never can ask a “why” to any question

Because I have no answer for it

I am never made to hurt

I am made to be hurt

That is my only excuse to live

My trust is total to turn the eternity into reality

To tolerate everything with a silent sympathy.

I can but penetrate the dry bones to feel it cry

To the eagle in the never ending sky

To the life of a worm in the black moist earth

To the granite walls of your denial

To tolerate you in the cruel light of the mad mirror.

I could have fought to your last breath

But you are surrounded

With the impenetrable cruel wounds of the rain bow

All the plastic faith around you

I waited at your door step with my watery voice

To enter into you

You could not feel my pulse

Left me hurt and wounded outside

With a redefined negligence

What more could do for you

A five letter word

Delicate and easily damaged?

Searching a Portion of Virgin Soil

Dr Sudhansu Dash

The unquiet impulses in me

Disturb conveniently my idea of committing another sin.

Altogether beyond all hopes of murdering my being

Of a hopeless tomorrow.

The broad field where all mankind can meet

Confined to a narrow path

Breathing the disgraceful air of the unborn days

Diverged from one another

Sometimes questions the soil I stand as a forlorn survivor

In the mercy of a hostile earth under my feet

I am compelled to redefine my position anew

And claim the humiliating mercy of a friend.

The human

Just a head on the shoulders

Brings himself a comfortable conclusion

Everything is best as the story shapes itself

Under a sunless fantasy.

All the antique dates have gone beyond the circle

To live in a peaceful grave of a virgin soil.

Once With A Mid-Day Woman

Dr Sudhansu Dash

A number of shadows

Moving with their deformities

Turning to her

And sinking into the earth

Leaving a barren and blasted spot

Send out into the world

To make out its hidden importance.

The blood may fairly be said

To have left a deep strain upon her

As old as the dry bones

The face she hardly knew to shame upon herself

The gray shadow murmurs to itself

With its sensuous sympathy.

She must be content to call it love

In a wild forest bordered settlement

Until a small portion of her body is close to the mortal frame

Mingling the earthly substance to the soil.

It hunts her with a sort of home feeling with the past

Not positively disgraceful

She calls the little child

After a moment’s silence.

Do you know my child

What this letter meant

That your mother is doomed to wear?

The singular expression she marks

In the black eyes of the innocent face.

The Unvisited House

Dr Sudhansu Dash

I know the secrets now

That has the youngs

It tells me what I dared not to think

When my blood was strong

It had drowned a lover once.

Now sounds like an old song.

I managed to tolerate the solitude

None is alive today

To listen the stories that I know

Words were but the wasted breaths

One word  only she had  was dear to me

“The next winter would be death”

The sight of the incompanionable ghost

Wild with divinity had lit up the whole room

The heart grew brutal from the fire

More a substance in the enmity

Than in the love

Of making an unvisited house.

A dialogue with my Shadow

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

The sweet emotion running in its veins

The salty breath has enough of sorrow before its death

Tasted by the time

Standing at the corner

All painless insult heaped upon him

Exiled from all dead and gone

To cry all the loneliness and pain.

No passion to escape the fearful shape of its own

From the cracks of the glass

From the ancient faces of the rain beaten stones

Before it is well finished.

Your life overflows without any ambitious pain

To choose whatever shape you desire

Flexible in its own merit of happiness

The empty sea-shell jumping out

From the inherited glory of the obscure dark sea

The arms and fingers spreading wide

Just to embrace nothing

Nothing but stillness can remain

When the heart is full of its own sweetness

You turn away and shut the doors

I wonder when I see

How many times you have my worthlessness.

Standing Under an Open Sky

Dr Sudhansu Dash

The sky is welded together without a joint

Holding the hearts through long periods of separation

Making us tolerant of each other’s convictions

Gathered from many years

Exchanging the words lazily.

Each of us follows a silence

The day ends with the  brilliant stillness of an unselfish belief

Under a benign and unstrained light of the short day

That comes and departs forever.

Faces turn foreign to one another

In the mystery of the unknown

Perhaps they are men enough

To face the darkness in the heart of a wild man.

The strength arising from the weakness of the other

The green flames crossing each other

We are fated to hear the inconclusive experience

In the deepening night upon the sleepless river

To look for hours and lose the self

In stitching the words with downcast eyes

In the map of a blank space.

The Guide

Dr Sudhansu Dash

The boat full of emptiness

Floating on the trust

In the immeasurable depth of the river

Not to be sunk any moment

Growing in the safety palm

In the absented presence of somebody

Moment to moment

The yellow leaf clinging to the mother tree

May fall down any moment

But

Carries the unseen signature of the deep love

Printed   faithfully in the core of the heart.

The pride of being his own

The pleasure of belonging to him

Cannot be claimed by any

That he possesses from time infinite.

Sometimes dying into the generous depth of the eternity

To collect some pearls

To distribute to the surface

Just others to know

What a miracle a trust can do.

The GUIDE

Looks from the distance

That his creation blossoms to spread the fragrance

For a further creation.

A Tamed Madness

Dr Sudhansu Dash

My feelings are tired

But

There is a willingness to do something

Which is not there.

What kind of madness it is

Moving my pen to the future?

There is something to be taken notice of

That has remained quiet in the neglected present.

All alphabets are in the game of friendship

Understanding, not- understanding and misunderstanding

Each as close to the other but helplessly separate

The world comes down

That has never existed

Nor shall ever be the same

Sailing through its effortless innocency

Towards an undetermined end.

There is nothing to be said about it

Except some numbers and alphabets of the cross road

Asking about the names of persons and things

In a thousand and one ways.

At the end of the day all numbers end

And darkness waves around the eyelids.

Let’s be Strangers

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

Close your eyes

Open again

What use pretending friends

While the smoke of sweet enemy flowing in our veins.

Come across my heart

Drive a knife.

You will find the smell of a hypocritical blood

In the sip of a coffee from an imported cup.

For heaven’s sake

Let not compel a ‘bad trust’ to be a thread

Between us

Close your eyes again

Just to know

We are strangers to one another

The yellow leafs of the stormy sky

No storm, no rain

When we close the eyes

In the forest of humans

All is dark and invisible.

The Stolen Smile of a Mother

Dr,Sudhansu Dash

In the silence of the orphan blind child

The earth clasped that night

The voice echoed the earth, the sky and the ocean

Mother!

Give a little space in your virgin womb

The son of the heaven to come.

Lips trembled

Tears rolled down the cheeks

The bosom rose and fell

The mother stood erect at the heaven.

O Heaven!

Give me the word

How long shall my child climb the cross?

How long shall he bleed?

Is he to die eternally for others?

O heaven

 Feel a mother just for a moment

You may not know

An empty bosom is more painful than the labor pain.

Give me back my child

I will hold him close to my milk bowl

No more can he carry the cross

No more can he bathe the blood

No more of me he will be born

Excuse me, O Heaven

I am barren

No space for him in the womb

Hold back your words 

He wants to speak something

Dr.Sudhansu Dash

The universe settles on the narrow eyes

The vision arising from the hope of a dying man

Face dark with sighs

Torture transcends the relief of the undiluted grief of a frozen silence

Hanging onto my window pane

Perhaps to speak an unspoken language.

Lines curve, straighten and curve again

To paint the portrait of his inner one.

The color fades away

The brush mocks at me to paint the summer sky

To calculate the petals of a winter rose.

He stood and looked between the shoulders

Between the brows.

The small hour approached to whisper a word

Just a word that moved on the broken lips and stopped

The echo merged in the vale.

All words too finite and small

To echo the soundless empty hall

To gather the images of a broken glass.

No tear, no sigh  no voice

 the shadow returned back only syllables of silence